Quit smoking the DBT-CBT therapy way: Attempt #7 – Making my “failures to succeed” successful failures

Here I go again. Another attempt to quit smoking. This constitutes try number 6 or 7 this year. However, I’m stubborn, hard-headed, and persistent…and I’ll keep trying until I make it. This is something that is do-able and something I’m able to do!

My last blog entry was a week or two ago and I had resumed smoking because of major bloating, constipation, and weight gain…like 7-10 pounds in 7-10 days. This has happened each time I have quit smoking this year.

My plan is to quit on Tuesday, my next work day. No smokes on the way to work…and none thereafter! Over the past two weeks, I’ve noticed that I’ve bloated even while smoking; however, I haven’t had the constipation and weight gain. The bloating has come and gone. So, I became mindful of the bloat patterns and noticed it seemed to occur when I drank soda and ate a couple protein bars. So, I gave up soda and protein bars for about 5 days and I had absolutely no bloating. WOW! I began eating some protein bars the last few days because I started feeling VERY tired. However, I did so in moderation and I’ve had a few sodas. Only one bloat session occurred. I’m going to practice moderation with both of these because I like them…and don’t want to have to give them up, TOO!

I am going to start exercising today. I’ll get the junk off the fancy treadmill and do that in front of the TV. I’ll ride horses with my daughter a couple times a week. I need to do something to offset the decrease in metabolism due to not smoking…and to offset a couple hundred extra calories that I might consume daily due to quitting smoking. I’ve lost more weight than I care to admit in the last four years and I have no intention of putting on a lot of weight. I can tolerate a few pounds…but then, it must come off again!

I’ve also added several servings of fruit per day over the last week. I’ll keep that up because it will help offset constipation.

If I start bloating again, I’ll buy some nicorettes and give that a try. If I fail this time again, I have a Dr’s appointment in a few weeks and I’ll try something else. I WILL make this happen.

Here’s an excerpt from the DBT-CBT therapy workbook that I wrote…and it’s something I believe in and I live by. It’s from a section entitled, “Failing to Succeed…or Successful Failures.” It’s in Chapter 7, the Rational Mind chapter…where the Emotional Driven Lies we tell ourselves are challenged through Rational Mind. This excerpt relates to the “I’ll never be able to do it.” and the “Everything I try gets screwed up somehow” type of lies we tell ourselves that sabotage our recovery.

“When we fail, we need to SEEK AN UNDERSTANDING of WHY WE FAILED. We need to LEARN FROM IT and CORRECT WHAT WE’RE DOING. We need to change or adjust our plan to deal with what went wrong. Successful “failures” start with PLAN A and go to PLAN B, C, D, E…and so on until things work out! Despite their failures, THEY KEEP ON KEEPING ON!

It’s also important to be Mindful of our successes and accomplishments and to note WE’VE ALL HAD SOME! We also need to realize that WHEN WE’VE TRIED…when we’ve REALLY STUCK WITH IT, we’ve overcome challenges…and WE HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL. Consider the 8-18 attempts at recovery that it takes people ON AVERAGE to become clean n’ sober. Through our recovery attempts, we learn about our triggers and relapse patterns. We learn we REALLY HAVE TO change the things in our life that we DON’T WANT TO CHANGE…things that we’ve refused to change, like friendships, activities, and abusive or conflict-filled relationships. Because of our repeated failures at recovery, we FINALLY SUCCEED! That’s because we’ve revised our Recovery Plan SO MANY TIMES that we FINALLY GET ENOUGH OF THE NECESSARY CHANGES made! We’re hard-headed and we’ve got to learn from OUR experiences…and in the world of recovery…these experiences ARE OFTEN RELAPSES.

Changing our LIFESTYLE and our LIFE IS VERY DIFFICULT. We need to ACCEPT OUR FAILURES and UNDERSTAND they’re a NATURAL part of the LEARNING PROCESS…IF we learn from them.

The truth is, WHEN WE KEEP TRYING, things FINALLY work out. Sometimes, we don’t succeed because we aren’t going about it the right way. Therefore, we need to get a NEW PLAN. Sometimes, we try to do more than is do-able at one time. We plunge head first when we’d be better off wading in and taking smaller steps! There are many reasons why we haven’t reached our goals. Fortunately, most of these problems can be overcome with PERSISTENCE and a REVISED GAME PLAN!”

So I will practice what I preach and I’ll keep trying until I make it. I’ll just DBT-CBT my way through it and rather than failing to succeed, I will make my attempts successful failures.

The following are some quotes off the side margin of the aforementioned section in the DBT-CBT Recovery Workbook:

“The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Failure: I expect to fail so I don’t try very hard …so, I fail.”

“If we don’t put forth a FULL effort, we’ll never REALLY KNOW if we can succeed.”

“Some of our greatest leaders and wealthiest people failed many times before they achieved great success.”

“We never fail until we quit trying. Success comes to those who are determined to overcome obstacles
in their path.”

“When we understand our failures are a part of the learning process, then we can constructively accept our failures and learn from them.”

This relates to the 8-18 tries at recovery it takes on average to recover from substance abuse: “Some say, ‘Been there, done 14, I’ve got to be real close to making it!’ Folks who are new to recovery are discouraged, ‘I don’t want to do this that many times.’ Be Mindful that 8-18 is an average. Some make it on the 1st try (they need to write the book!), others on the 25th. Some make it in 3 tries, others in 20. Bear in mind though…these numbers don’t mean it’s okay to relapse 17 times ‘just because we can’ and then work real hard on the 18th try!”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s